


Miracles

by EeveeLovesWayneNewtonAndBanjos



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Concerned Friends, I'm not sure how to use these, John knows best, M/M, Sad Gamzee
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-14
Updated: 2014-12-14
Packaged: 2018-03-01 10:24:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,921
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2769569
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EeveeLovesWayneNewtonAndBanjos/pseuds/EeveeLovesWayneNewtonAndBanjos
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dave and John have a talk with Gamzee and tell him that he should stop his unhealthy relationship with Karkat. Will he be able to stop seeing him, or will this strange relationship continue?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Miracles

"You really need to stop talking to Karkat, Gamzee," John told him. "I can't just all up and abandon my motherfuckin best friend like that." "Gamzee, we're worried about you. We think it would be best if you didn't let him do this to you," John said. Gamzee looked at John. "All y'all motherfuckers think I shouldn't talk to him no more," Gamzee asked looking a bit hurt. "We just want what's best for you Gamzee, it isn't healthy for you to be like this with him," John told him as he awkwardly scratched the back of his head. Dave spoke, "Everyone is worried about you, bro." Dave and John were now looking at Gamzee who was looking at them both with tears forming in his eyes. "But I love that motherfucker," he said trying to hold them back as best as he could. "We know you do, Gamzee. We just think that your relationship with him shouldn't continue. It's hurting you," John said. "I'll end it tomorrow if y'all really think I should," he told them. "It'll be good for you to stay away from him," John told him. Dave placed a hand on Gamzee's shoulder before giving it a gentle squeeze. "Take care, Gamzee," he said as he and John took their leave.

Gamzee looked around seeing empty Faygo bottles on the floor. He didn't sleep at all that night. He figured that once he did what he needed to do tomorrow he would pass out when he got home so he wouldn't have to think about it. He watched some TV, drank Faygo, and got lost in thought most of the night going through Karkat's things. When morning finally came around he got ready. He brushed his hair and let it fall into its normal style before brushing his teeth. Once he was clean he then got dressed. He pulled on his gray shirt and slid into his black pants. He looked into the mirror as he pulled on his hoodie. It took him a minute to tie up his shoes. He didn't need to, but he wanted to slow himself and distract himself from the thing he had to do today. He didn't want to think about doing that to Karkat, it just made him hate himself thinking about it. He knew his friends knew what was best for him so he began walking. It took him a while to get there by foot, but he finally managed to get there. 

He stood in front of Karkat trying to think of how he should say it. He didn't know how to bring up something like this. How should he do this? How could he? He always knew what to say with Karkat, but this time was different. He took a deep breath before speaking clear.

"Hey, Karbro, there's something I need to tell you so just listen, okay? Everyone keeps telling me that I need to stop talking to you. They keep telling me you're bad for me and that I need to keep a level head before I go crazy again and kill another motherfucker, you know? I-I really don't wanna motherfuckin leave you though, I fuckin love you, Karbro. I really do...I don't wanna let you go, motherfucker. I know you're probably tired of hearing this motherfuckin shit, Karbro, but I need to say it one last time. I'm fuckin sorry, okay? I've tried to forget that fuckin day, man, I can't. I tried to block out what I did to you. I can't stop seeing that fuckin shit play over and over in my head. I keep seeing you laying in front of me beggin me to stop but I just didn't listen. I never listen....I really hope you don't fuckin hate me for what I did to you. I really don't want you to hate me, baby." 

Tears streamed down Gamzee's face. It didn't ruin his usual clown make-up. His clown make-up wasn't so usual anymore. It's been so long since he's worn it that he no longer feels naked without it. He blinks a few tears away and he can now see the stone clearly.

In Loving Memory of Karkat Vantas.   
12.46 Alternian Solar Sweeps, 27 Earth years.  
Wonderful friend.   
Great bro.   
Loving husband.

Karkat had been dead for about two years now. Gamzee visited him everyday and still talked to him like he did when he was alive. It didn't matter if it was raining. He spent more time when it was raining or snowing even though he knew it would get him sick. Gamzee would rather get sick than not talk to his friend. 

"I'm gonna stop motherfuckin crying now, okay? I know you don't like it when I cry especially in front of you and shit, sorry. I-I watched another one of your fuckin girly movies last night. I know you don't like me touching them and shit, but I just couldn't help myself. It was the one with the girl and the guy on the boat. I think it was Titanic or somethin like that. It was good. Had me all confused an shit when that chick pulled out the necklace because I thought she'd all up and lost that motherfucker. Some motherfuckin miracles right there, man." 

He waited for Karkat to say something. Karkat always had something to say. He'd probably tell him how the troll version was better or yell at him for going through his movies. He'd also laugh and tell Gamzee his miracles are bullshit and just yell at him until his heart was content. Gamzee never minded it. He always thought Karkat was adorable when he got angry at him. He'd always hug him causing him to yell even more until he finally gave in and hugged the taller troll back. Gamzee waited to hear Karkat get annoyed, or laugh, or even scoff at his mere mention of miracles, but as usual he was quiet.

"Sometimes I still here your voice while I'm all up and laying in bed and shit. I keep thinking that you're gonna walk in and yell at me for not turning a light off, or get mad at me for leaving my Faygo bottles in the living room. I keep thinking that any motherfuckin moment you'll walk in and complain about how I'm all up on your side of the bed for the thousandth time before you snuggle all up in my motherfuckin arms again...but you don't walk in. You don't yell at me, you don't complain, and you don't lay in my arms anymore. It's me laying there just waiting on someone who's never going to walk through that door again. I'm alone, motherfucker...I know it's my fault too. Everyone knows it's my fault. I shouldn't have let myself get that way. I should've fuckin fought harder against the voices in my head telling me what to do."

"Gamzee..." 

He smiled at the thought of it being Karkat coming to talk to him. He then recognized the voice and his smile faded. He wanted to laugh at himself for even thinking it could be Karkat. Karkat never called him by his name anyway unless something was wrong or they were having sex. It was usually just 'Gam' or 'Gammy.' Just the thought of that name brought up images flashing through Gamzee's head of times Karkat would smile at him. He tried not to let himself get distracted. He turned facing the voice he recognized as John. 

"Hey, John, I'm just talkin to my best motherfucking friend. I was just about to go," he said trying to act casual and not to choke on his words. "You don't have to stop talking to him if you don't want to. You can stay a little while longer if you'd like. I know this is hard for you to do." "Nah, I uh...I need to be getting home anyway. I have to clean up the fuckin house and shit," he told John sniffling a bit. 

John's frown went away as he opened his mouth to say something but couldn't find the right words. He didn't really know what to say to Gamzee anymore. Usually when Gamzee was upset before Karkat's death someone would just tell him a joke or give him a Faygo and he would go back to being happy. Hell, Gamzee would even be happy just from a hug, but everything was different now. John knew that.

Gamzee took a deep breath and placed his hand on the stone. "This is my last visit, at least for a while. I promise I'll try and take care of myself like you wanted. I might forget to turn a few lights off and I might forget a few bottles and shit. I hope you wont be too mad at me for it, Karbro...I love you, motherfucker," he said in a shaky breath as he bent down and kissed the top of the stone before turning back to John. 

"Do you think he still loves me?" 

The question shocked John. Why would Gamzee even ask him that, or even think for a second Karkat didn't? He had always had a strong love for that clown. No one knew why. Everyone guessed Karkat was the only one who really knew the real Gamzee. Karkat didn't usually tell Gamzee that he enjoyed the clown's presence, but that was what was so good about them. Karkat never had to tell him he loved him because Gamzee always knew. The question that lies on John's mind now is: How long had he been asking himself this question?

"Of course he loves you," John said softly to the weeping troll. "Do you ever think he'll forgive me," Gamzee asked shifting his hands in his pockets. "He knows that wasn't you. He knows you didn't want to hurt him. He loves you Gamzee, he didn't need to forgive you because you didn't do anything. He knows that it wasn't you who did that. You'd never hurt Karkat." "You really think that," he asked wiping a tear away before shoving his hand back in his hoodie pocket. "I don't think that, I know that," he told him. 

Gamzee couldn't help but hug the petite human. "Thanks, motherfucker." John hugged him back until Gamzee stopped and went on his way back to his home. What John had said to Gamzee made him feel a bit better and John felt better knowing that Gamzee had finally gotten his answer. Once Gamzee was out of sight John knew what he had to do. He bent down in front of the stone and began to speak. 

"Karkat, if you can hear me for some reason, just listen up. Gamzee really needs you back, we all do. Gamzee needs you the most though. He's so different without you, he doesn't really smile anymore. He never leaves his house unless he's visiting you. He never even honks anymore. He doesn't want to be a clown, he doesn't wear his make-up, he's given up on everything trying to get straight for you. If there's a way you can come back to us...to him...we just really need you to. If by some chance you come across someone in your afterlife who can bring you back, please talk to them Karkat. I don't know if God exists or what's up there, who's up there, but if you're up there...if anyone's up there...we really need a miracle."


End file.
